Frogs with signs & how insecurities lie

I felt slightly guilty.

Surrounded by a feast inspired by the book that everyone seemed to love. The women’s delighted chatter filled up the room around us, but I didn’t have much to say. My insecurities started to whisper that I had made a mistake.

Maybe the frog was warning me…

From adorable Kingsley cupcakes to the overflowing tables of food to the comprehensive discussion guide the women's talents were on full display. 

I pushed through.

You see, when I started a fantasy book club, I pictured reading books that captivated me and gathering with other women to talk about all that we adored about the books. And I didn’t adore this book. (more on that in a minute)

Despite the adorable snacks and veritable feast the other women had put together, despite the excited chatter and full house, despite my excitement in preparing, it didn’t align with the picture in my head. And, somehow, I wanted to call it failure…me a failure.

I do that, you know. I internally prepare for something to fail, and for it to be my fault. Part of it just comes from a lifetime riddled with losses and disappointments — I try to prepare for loss before it can hijack me. But more than that, my insecurities find moments to scream loudly about all the things I am not or should be. When everyone in the room adored the book, my inner critic decided it was the perfect moment to remind me of all the times I had felt like the odd woman out.

When insecurities lie, there is only one thing I can do. Prove them wrong.

So I took the frog’s sign away and began to listen to what was unfolding around me—the laughter, the insight, the theories, the favorite parts, and the criticisms. This was what I wanted…a room filled with women who wanted to talk about books.

 I wish I had loved Hannah Nicole Maehrer's book Assistant to the Villain and could have joined the chatter. For the record, I didn’t hate it. It was meh.

Things I liked: There were some funny moments. She wrote banter well in some parts. I adored Kingsley – a frog who communicated by holding up signs.

Things I didn’t like: I missed the world-building I love in most fantasy books. I did not understand the magic system, and that left me with many questions. There were also some slow sections, and places I felt needed more editing and refining. Also, much like a good TV drama, I felt like this was written as an episode to tantalize you into watching the next episode. Want some answers? Like resolution? Too bad, stay tuned. It felt incomplete, and the only way to resolve that is to read all three books, I suppose.

 I laughed. I shrugged. I finished the book. I’m not sure if I will read the sequel unless the book club decides to.

Unless the book club decides to…because the fantasy book club wasn’t a failure. It wasn’t the picture in my head, but if I am honest, nothing ever is. But it was an enjoyable night. We feasted. We laughed. Women bonded over what they liked (or what they missed). Some of the ladies even fan-casted the upcoming TV adaptation. We talked about a fantasy book! And we plan to do it again…

So, maybe the frog wasn’t predicting my future, and maybe I’ll adore the next book.

How adorable is this tray of book-inspired sweet treats? My talented new friend Dani hit it out of the park!