Living Openly Messy
She’s Got A Story: LeighAnn
There’s something disarming about a woman who just lays it all on the table. My visit to LeighAnn’s home last week started with her telling me she wanted to cancel because she does not like photos of herself and ended with talk of joy and banishing fear. And in between, she just laid it all out there – her struggles, the realities of being a mother of a preschooler and teens simultaneously, the difficult season her family is emerging from, and the day-to-day life of a wife, homeschool mom, and health practitioner.
As we sat down at the dining room table to chat, I found an orange crayon on the floor. LeighAnn laughed and tucked the crayon away on a shelf behind her. She paused to show me the other things concealed on the shelf, and the moment struck me as purely LeighAnn. She cleaned things up for the photo but then showed me what was still there. Unafraid to show the life lived in this room.
When I asked her to describe herself in one word, LeighAnn said, “authentic.” (And she is.) Then she laughed, “I am just kind of openly a mess.” (And she is open, but I don’t know that I would call her a mess.) Her details are like the orange crayon – tucked away but easily shared. LeighAnn’s ability to be present in her life—to show up for her husband, children, friends, family, and patients authentically with empathetic vulnerability makes her a force to be reckoned with.
When asked what drives her, LeighAnn thoughtfully began, “So, the antidote of fear is hope, right. But I think I try to rid people of fear. The big thing that eats people from the inside is fear. People say, ‘Oh, hope drives me,’ but what is that the lack of? What are you trying to pull out by the roots? That’s fear. So I think that has been really my big thing.” Her gaze trails off into the kitchen.
“That’s hard for me, right, because I have a kid who has a rare metabolic disease. That will never change. So, it’s not like I don’t know that some things can’t be changed, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t leverageable things that I can change for her. The same things spiritually, and as a mom, sometimes we don’t do a very good job of it because we have our own fears. Just trying to pull fear out by the roots. The devil isn’t going to win. He’s not going to win constantly. You have the ability and the power. The spiritual power and the physical power to fight against this. To do something different.”
To be something different. To prioritize family. To follow God into the unknown as He reshapes your family and professional practice. To choose joy, because at the end of the day that’s all you can control (her words). At the end of a tough season, open your home, face your insecurities, and help support another woman. To use an orange crayon to show that no matter how buttoned up your life looks, there is more just below the surface and that it’s okay to share what lies beneath.
That’s LeighAnn’s superpower (well, one of them; I am convinced she has many), her ability to be present with you and openly share her life. The orange crayon moment of relationships – sharing what other people would hide. Full disclosure: I have known LeighAnn for several years. We participated in homeschool activities together and have remained in friendly contact since. From the first moment I met her to the hug she gave me last Monday, one thing about her has not changed. LeighAnn is fully herself in every moment – no competition or inauthentic airs. She is who she is and makes room for others to be themselves. My visit with LeighAnn reminded me of the power of those who live openly messy lives. They make it safe for us all to be vulnerable and leave room for our orange crayons.
